As you’ve made it here, chances are you’re a David Williams fan just like us and since he’s sold over forty five million books worldwide, there’s also a good chance you’ve read one of this books! Maybe he’s even written your favourite book!
With all the excitement over the launch of David’s first ever sequel, Gangsta Granny Strikes Again, we thought we’d take some time to put together a list of our favourite David Walliams quotes, from some of our favourite books.
From heartfelt and inspiring to laugh out loud hilarious we’ve got a list of 25 amazing quotes from the wonderful world of Walliams!
So if you fancy a laugh or you’re looking for some inspiring words from your favourite author just keep reading, you might even spot your favourite quote on our list!
25 of the best quotes from David Walliams books.
1. “Sometimes with a little help and some upside down penguins, dreams really can come true.”
–David Walliams, Geronimo
2. “I think all those rules are boring. About what people can and can't wear. Surely everyone should be able to wear whatever they like?”
― David Walliams, The Boy in the Dress
3. “All you can do in this life is follow your dreams. Otherwise you're just wasting your time.”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny
4. “A bully can only make you feel bad about yourself if you let them.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink
5. “Surely things couldn’t get any worse. They could. Much worse.”
–David Walliams, Boogie bear
6. “It's strange how sometimes you can be so happy it goes all the way round to sadness.”
― David Walliams, Billionaire Boy
7. “In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem.
Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea.
Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit.
Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink
8. “But children nowadays don't believe in magic. They are forever watching TV and playing computer games. They never look to the skies any more.”
― David Walliams, Demon Dentist
9. “But it’s all I dream about Dad, there must be a way for my dream to come true.”
–David walliams, Geronimo
10. “But being a child, he’d never been asked for his opinion.”
― David Walliams, The Boy in the Dress
11. “You mustn't let bullies get you down.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink
12. “Granny’s bum squeaking again”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny
13. “They may have only had one pence to spend, but their hearts beamed with gold.”
― David Walliams, Bad Dad
14. “The Frog Prince The princess kisses the frog and contracts a waterborne disease that makes her bottom explode.”
― David Walliams, Awful Auntie
15. “As she took each step a little bubble of wind puffed out of her saggy bottom. It sounded like a duck quacking. Either she didn’t realise or was extremely good at pretending she didn’t realise.”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny
16. “Spending so much time alone had turned Chloe's imagination into a deep dark forest. It was a magical place to escape to, and so much more thrilling than real life.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink
17. “It was a long, long time since anyone had hugged him, so he hugged himself.”
― David Walliams, Billionaire Boy
18. “Plank to base. I require urgent backup. Repeat. Urgent backup. Am knackered. Repeat. Knackered. And can you pick me up a bag of ready salted crisps on the way? Repeat. Ready salted crisps. Urgent. Over.”
― David Walliams, Demon Dentist
19. “Adults always ask kids how they are doing at school. The one subject kids absolutely hate talking about. You don't even want to talk about school when you are at school.”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny
20. “All our lives are hard in one way or another... But listen to me... We need to be kind to each other, and stick together, OK? This place is tough enough without you making my life a misery.”
― David Walliams, RatBurger
21. “My name is Mr Bread.” He began writing his name neatly on the board. “But you can call me Peter.”
Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred.
“Pita Bread!” proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the back.”
― David Walliams, Billionaire Boy
22. “Unfortunately for Ben and Granny, it turns out that ancient poo does still pong.”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny
23. “The posh boys at St Cuthbert’s had names like Nathaniel Septimus Ernest Bertram Lysander Tybalt Zacharias Edmund Alexander Humphrey Percy Quentin Tristan Augustus Bartholomew Tarquin Imogen Sebastian Theodore Clarence Smythe.”
― David Walliams, Billionaire Boy
24. “Things couldn’t get any better. But they could. Much better.”
–David Walliams, Boogie bear
25. “You will. Another day.” “But Granny…” “Ben, you have to go home.” “That’s not fair!” “Ben, you must leave now. I can tell you what happened when you come another day.” “BUT!” “To be continued,” she said.”
― David Walliams, Gangsta Granny
Still want more David Walliams quotes?
We thought you would, here are some more amazing quotes from David Walliams about reading and writing!
1. When I was a child I devoured every book I could get my hands on. I loved losing myself in colourful and dramatic stories - and my absolute favourite was 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.' Everything about it electrified me, and when I re-read Roald Dahl's books as an adult it surprised me.
–David Walliams
2. “Children’s books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I’m a children’s writer myself.”
–David Walliams
3. “People think writing a children's book is something you could do in an afternoon but it's actually really hard.”
–David Walliams
4. “I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it's over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth.”
–David Walliams
